Tales of a White Boy in Asia

I think I know what a vampire feels like. People look at me like I'm an alien, slowly approach, and then all do odd things. The combination of being white and a kid makes Asian people come up and tickle me under the chin,pinch my cheeks,put their arms around me when I look at them,spank me on the butt,( I'm not kidding, it happened!) and those are the worst (thank goodness)! I suppose you want to know the lesser ones, so I’ll tell you the rest, (there are a lot). I find it hard to pose with the Chinese tourists when you don't want your picture taken and sometimes one of them hugs you and smiles with their teeth,(which may not be at their best hygienic level) . I know I'm starting to sound like Sue Sylvester from Glee, though there is no other way to express my true feelings. The lesser ''reactions'' are things like people touching me and then saying something in foreign. Maybe I should get a shirt that says ''Please Do NOT Touch Me!'' or a spray tan. Oh and I forgot to mention that this does NOT happen to Brendan because of his slight tan, though Amarra gets as much or more attention than I do.

Your ghostly friend,

Heath